Category: Blog

It’s time to make a shift from focusing on HOW to asking WHY Are you tired of getting caught up in the nitty-gritty details of how to complete a project, only to lose sight of the bigger picture? It’s time to make a shift from focusing on HOW to asking WHY. By changing your approach and mindset, you can unlock new levels of creativity, innovation, and success in all your projects. Walk with me as I share with you how asking WHY can lead to greater clarity, purpose, and success in your work. The concept of shifting from HOW to WHY involves a fundamental change in mindset–instead of constantly asking ourselves HOW we can accomplish something, we should start by questioning WHY it needs to be done in the first place. Too often, our focus on “HOW” leads us to over look or even disregard the underlying purpose or reason behind our actions. By shifting our attention towards understanding the “WHY,” we can gain deeper insights into the significance and long-term impact of our work. Furthermore, this transition from how-ing to why-ing allows us to tap into our creativity by thinking outside-the-box. Instead of being confined by established processes, we can explore alternative methods that possibly prove more effective at accomplishing a specific goal. The WHY gives meaning and purpose to our work. It is essential to feel connected to what we do and believe that it has value. With out this sense of purpose, projects can become monotonous and uninspiring leading to reduced motivation and commitment. On the other hand, when we understand how our contributions fit into the bigger picture, we are more likely to be passionate about our work and go above and beyond for its success. Knowing WHY helps to measure success accurately, insuring the project aligns with the purpose and make adjustments as needed. Below are two real-life case studies of projects that successfully implemented the WHY approach. You’re probably familiar with both companies. Apple’s iPhone: The introduction of the iPhone by Apple in 2007 revolutionized the smart phone market. Instead of focusing solely on the technical specifications and features, Steve Jobs identified the underlying need for a device that could seamlessly integrate various functions like calling, internet browsing, music, and more. Airbnb: The founders of Airbnb disrupted the hospitality industry with their unique approach to short-term rentals. Rather than simply providing accommodation options like hotels do, they dug deeper into people’s desire for authentic travel experiences at affordable prices. By constantly questioning the purpose and intention behind a project, these companies were able to meet the deeper needs of their customers, create innovative solutions, and achieve long-term success. In other words… where do you want to end up? Making a shift from focusing on HOW to complete something to understanding WHY it needs to be done can have a profound impact not only on your professional projects but also on your overall approach and mindset. Shifting from HOW to WHY involves a change in perspective and an emphasis on purpose, motivation, and meaning. This transformation can bring about numerous benefits such as clarity, creativity, motivation, collaboration and personal growth-all of which contribute towards achieving successful out comes both professionally and personally. The question should always be… WHY AM I REALLY DOING THIS? I am Rita…speaking to your Spirit I’d love to hear from you. Let me know what you think about my perspective and add your own. And let me know if you plan to incorporate any parts of this blog in your everyday life.

Rising Above: Healing the Wounds of Hurtful Words Growing up, the saying “Sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never harm me” echoed in my ears, meant to offer solace in the face of peoples hurtful words. However, I soon realized its inadequacy in capturing the true impact of words on our emotional well-being. They indeed did hurt. Words possess a profound power—they shape our perceptions, define our self-worth, and deeply influence our emotional state. Understanding the significance of words is highlighted through Gary Chapman’s theory of love languages, where words of affirmation rank as the second largest love language. This features the crucial role words play in human relationships—they have the ability to uplift, encourage, and affirm our worth. Conversely, when wielded carelessly or maliciously, they can inflict wounds that cut deep beneath the surface. I vividly recall moments when hurtful words made me doubt my value and sense of belonging. One instance, in particular, stands out—a person I trusted and cherished spoke slanderous lies behind my back to someone I deeply cared for. The shock and devastation were overwhelming, and even though the lies weren’t believed (Thank God), the negative emotions persisted. It served as a stark reminder of the immense power words hold, especially when they come from those we hold dear. And deep down I know the relationship will never be the same again. Yet, beyond the pain lies an opportunity for growth and healing. Why? Because we must! It’s a chance for us to delve into our emotions, understand the wounds inflicted, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and resilience. This journey begins with acknowledging the depth of our feelings (How bad does it hurt?) and allowing ourselves the grace to process the pain in a healthy and constructive manner. Whether through journaling to untangle our thoughts, finding solace in moments of silence to connect with our inner selves or our faith, seeking guidance from a coach or therapist, or leaning on the unwavering support of loved ones, it’s essential to create the space needed to grieve and ultimately heal from the wounds caused by hurtful words. Challenging the damaging beliefs implanted by hurtful words is crucial for reclaiming our sense of self-worth and dignity. We must actively counteract the negative narratives that may have taken root within us, reminding ourselves of our inherent value and resilience. This involves setting clear boundaries to protect our emotional well-being and recognizing when it’s necessary to distance ourselves from toxic relationships, prioritizing our healing and growth. In my previous blog, I discussed the significance of where people stand in your journey through life. Oftentimes, those who were once closest to you, your front row companions, or ride-or-dies, find themselves relegated to the parking lot or even on the other side of I-95. As we embark on this journey of healing, let’s not forget the importance of self-compassion and forgiveness. Extending grace to ourselves and others acknowledges our shared humanity and imperfections. While forgiveness is a powerful tool, it’s also essential to remember. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting the hurtful words or the pain they caused; rather, it’s about releasing their hold on us and choosing to move forward with compassion and grace. In conclusion, may you find strength in adversity and courage in pain, knowing that healing is attainable. Though it may require time and effort, with faith, forgiveness, and empathy, we can rise above the hurt and discover inner peace. Remember, while words may leave lasting scars, they do not define us. We are resilient beings capable of healing and growth. By embracing our inner strength and worth, we reclaim our dignity and sense of self, transcending the pain of hurtful words.

Finding Peace In Surrendering In a world consumed by chaos and constant worries, finding peace can seem like an elusive quest. Yet, deep within each of us lies the innate ability to restore our faith and embrace serenity through surrender. I’m going to share with you how surrender will allow you to reclaim your peace.  Surrender is a concept that is often misunderstood as defeat or weakness. However, in reality, surrendering can be an act of strength and courage. It involves letting go of control and trusting in a higher power to guide you. It’s not about giving up or quitting. It’s about acknowledging that you can’t control everything – people or situations – and understanding there is a greater force working on your behalf. By embracing surrender, you invite peace into your life. Instead of trying to force outcomes according to your wishes and desires, you learn to trust the process of life. Surrendering is about BEING present in the moment rather than living in anticipation of what might happen. Too often your worries stem from dwelling on past mistakes or future uncertainties rather than focusing on the here and now. Another gift of surrender is allowing yourself to move away from excuses and blame and begin taking ownership for your own actions. Excuses are often used as a defense mechanism to avoid confronting uncomfortable truths about yourself or avoiding tasks that seem daunting. You say “I don’t have enough time” or “I’m too tired” instead of admitting that you’re procrastinating or prioritizing other things over what truly matters. One of the most difficult things to do in life is to ask for help. You want to handle everything on your own, out of fear or a desire for control. However, the truth is that we all need support at some point in our lives. This is especially true when it comes to finding peace through surrender. Moreover, support systems can offer valuable insights and perspectives. When you’re struggling with worries and doubts, it’s easy to get caught up in negative thoughts which can cloud your judgment. This is where a supportive friend or family member, from your front row, can offer alternative viewpoints that you may not have considered. Thus, another piece of drama is removed from your plate. Confronting hurt and fear can be one of the most challenging aspects of “letting go”. These difficult emotions can leave you in a constant state of feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and stuck. However, it is essential to face them head-on in order to find true healing and peace. The first step towards confronting these emotions is acknowledging their presence. Often, you may try to deny or ignore those feelings because they are uncomfortable or painful. But by doing so, you’re only giving them more power to haunt you. Once those difficult emotions are acknowledged, the next step is to sit with them and explore their roots. This involves diving deeper into your experiences and understanding why you feel the way you do. Sometimes, this introspection can bring up memories or past traumas that have contributed to your hurt and fear. It may be necessary to seek professional help during this process if the emotions seem too overwhelming or if there are underlying mental health issues. Confronting difficult emotions also requires forgiveness – both for yourself and others involved in your pain. Forgiveness does not mean excusing or forgetting what has happened, but rather letting go of the resentment and anger that is holding you back from truly moving forward. Learning to embrace gratitude can help shift your perspective towards seeing the abundance in life rather than focusing on what you may not have. Expressing gratitude for your blessings and achievements can help you appreciate your worth and recognize the value you bring to the world. In conclusion, embracing the power of surrender can be the transformative key to finding true peace in your life. Surrender invites serenity, allowing you to navigate life’s uncertainties with grace and resilience. So, cultivate the art of surrender, because in letting go, you will discover a profound sense of peace that transcends the chaos, guiding you towards a more fulfilling and harmonious existence. It is exactly where I am in my life today. May your journey be filled with surrender, and may you find the tranquility that comes with it. I am Rita…speaking to your Spirit

The Language of the Soul: A Spiritual Journey to Self-Love and Connection Embarking on the spiritual journey to self-love unveils a profound impact that often goes unnoticed in a world emphasizing selflessness. In this exploration, we delve into the intricate relationship between self-love and the concept of love languages, recognizing that God’s love transcends and harmonizes with the unique ways we express and receive love. As we traverse the spiritual path of self-love, acknowledging and embracing our personal love languages emerges as an essential tool. Just as we express love uniquely in our personal relationships, understanding how we spiritually fill our love tank becomes pivotal. Spiritually led love languages guide us on this transformative journey: Words of Affirmation to the Soul: Picture whispering words of encouragement and affirmation to your inner self. Embrace the potency of positive self-talk, affirming your worthiness and divine essence. Let these words resonate within, creating a sacred space for self-love to flourish. Acts of Service for the Soul: Witness self-care transforming into a spiritual practice, viewed as acts of service to your soul. Nourish your body, mind, and spirit with activities that replenish and rejuvenate. Recognize the sacredness of taking time for yourself, understanding it as an act of love. Receiving Gifts from the Above: In moments of reflection and gratitude, acknowledge the gifts bestowed upon you by God. Your life, talents, and experiences are divine gifts. Embrace them with gratitude, recognizing that the universe expresses love in various forms tailored just for you. Quality Time with Your Inner Being: Dedicate quality time to self-discovery and introspection. Immerse yourself in the depths of your soul through meditation, prayer, or mindful practices. In this sacred space, connect with your true essence and cultivate a profound love for the unique being that is you. Physical Touch as a Spiritual Connection: Allow the physical touch of self-care rituals to evolve into a spiritual connection. A gentle touch during moments of self-compassion serves as a reminder of the divine love permeating every cell of your being. God’s love aligns seamlessly with your unique love languages, transcending all barriers and resonating with the depths of your soul. As you learn to love yourself fully, you become a vessel for God’s love to flow through you, extending to others. Your love languages, embraced and understood, become a channel for divine love to manifest in your relationships and interactions with the world. On this journey of self-love, remember that the love cultivated within is meant to be shared. Through your love languages, you radiate divine love—positivity, compassion, and understanding—to those around you. It’s hard not to! This spiritual journey of learning to love yourself fully is a transformation of the soul. Embrace your love languages as a sacred part of this process, knowing that God’s love aligns perfectly with the unique ways you express and receive love. As you bask in the warmth of self-love, you become a vessel for divine love, sharing its abundance with the world. I pray this journey bring you closer to your true self and the boundless love that God graciously shares.

Behind Closed Doors: Exploring the Shocking Cruelty Endured by Africans at St Georges and Cape Coast Castles I recently traveled to the Republic of Ghana, West Africa, specifically to see the DOOR OF NO RETURN. I visited St Georges and Cape Coast Castles – the two most infamous architectural structures in West Africa that became chambers of torment during the era of transatlantic slavery. It was an emotional journey as the guide shared the history my people endured behind closed doors, away from the public eye. These castles served as holding pens for captured Africans who were then transported to the New World for enslavement. Located along the coast of Ghana, the castles were initially built by European traders for commercial purposes but were later used as major hubs for the transatlantic slave trade. Despite their beautiful scenic locations, located on the Gulf of Guinea of the Atlantic Ocean, these castles have a dark history of unspeakable cruelty and human suffering. The construction of these castles began in the 17th century with the arrival of Portuguese traders to West Africa. The European powers that followed – including British, Dutch, Swedish, and Danish – also built their own forts along this stretch of coast for trade purposes. These forts were strategically positioned along the Gold Coast (now Ghana) as it was a major supplier of gold, ivory, and other valuable resources at that time. However, what started as trading posts soon turned into warehouses for human beings. In search of cheap labor for their plantations in America and Caribbean islands, Europeans began trafficking Africans from various parts of West Africa to the castles before transporting them on grueling voyages across the Atlantic Ocean. The conditions inside these castles were unimaginable. Africans captured by neighboring tribes or traded by African rulers would be held captive in overcrowded dungeons with little food or water. They were forced to endure extreme heat, disease-infested environments and horrific living conditions while they waited for their turn to go through the DOOR OF NO RETURN. Upon reaching the coast, these traumatized individuals were crammed onto overcrowded ships commonly known as ‘slave vessels.’ These ships had inhumane conditions – slaves were packed tightly together with no room to move or lay down comfortably. They remained below deck for most of the journey which could last several months depending on weather conditions. This experience became known as the “Middle Passage” – aptly named due to it being considered as “the middle” stage between captivity in Africa and enslaved in another land. The origins of this trade can be traced back to European exploration and colonization of the New World in the 15th century. As Europeans began establishing colonies in North and South America, they needed large numbers of laborers to cultivate crops such as sugar, tobacco, and cotton. The indigenous population was decimated by diseases brought by European colonizers, leading the colonizers to turn to Africa for a steady supply of labor. At first, enslaved Africans were captured through warfare or kidnapping by local African rulers who then sold them to European traders for goods such as guns, textiles, or alcohol. However, with increased demand for slaves in the Americas came an organized and highly profitable system of slave trading that operated on a massive scale. The vast majority of enslaved Africans were taken from West and Central Africa – primarily modern-day Senegal down to Angola – due to its geographical proximity to Europe and its abundant natural resources. This region became known as “the Slave Coast” due to its role within this despicable trade.  The transatlantic slave trade, also known as the triangular trade, was a horrific and exploitative system of human trafficking that lasted for over 400 years. It involved the forced migration of millions of Africans from their homelands to the Americas to work as laborers on plantations and in other industries. This brutal trade had far-reaching effects on African societies, political structures, and economies, shaping the history of the continent for centuries to come. For many Africans, this was their first encounter with Europeans. They were met with violence, intimidation, and harsh treatment throughout the journey. The physical conditions were grueling; they endured extreme temperatures, inadequate food and water supplies, as well as brutal punishments for any slow walkers or attempts to escape. The journey of captured Africans to the castles was a harrowing and traumatic experience that would ultimately lead to a lifetime of suffering for those who were “STRONG” enough to be sold into slavery. The capture and transportation of Africans from their homes in various regions across West Africa to the castles is a crucial chapter in the history of transatlantic slave trade, and one that is often overlooked. NOTE: We visited the site of the LAST BATH. The captives were placed, in chains, in the rushing river. Those who could swim would try to get away. Many drowned, while being dragged by others and the river. The guide invited us to walk down to the river barefoot in order to feel the ground and soil they walked on. I put my foot in the River for a few minutes and felt the anger of the churning river. This was one of my transforming experiences. One of the most shocking aspects of my visit to the castles was the inhumane living conditions endured by slaves. The dungeons were crowded and filthy, with little to no ventilation or natural light. These small spaces were often overcrowded with hundreds of slaves packed together like sardines. Adding to this physical agony was the psychological torture endured by slaves inside these castles. They were stripped of their identities, separated from their families and communities, and treated as mere commodities by their captors. This was purposeful to gain complete submission and total dependency on their masters.  The constant feeling of confinement and helplessness created a sense of despair among the enslaved population. Many captives suffered from anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues due to their…