Author: Angela Lightfoot

Strong Woman Signing Off. Welcoming a Powerful Woman! Rather than calling myself a strong woman, I would like to refer to myself as a powerful woman. In today’s society, women are expected to handle any challenge life throws their way and appear to have it all together. This is supposed to be a good thing, but having to uphold the image of strength can be more damaging than helpful. Through my experience with this expectation, I’ve come to recognize that being strong isn’t what truly makes us remarkable and powerful. In place of this traditional definition of strength, I’m now embracing my authenticity and power as a woman. Join me in discovering why being a powerful woman beats being strong any day. The societal expectation of women to be strong. As young girls, we are taught that being strong is an admirable quality. I’ve grown up being told to be strong and defend myself, but as I’ve gotten older, I realize that expecting such strength can be draining and harmful. I recall being warned to be cautious of what I was requesting when praying and asking God for strength. To truly attain strength, you must face pressure, weight, or opposition, all in the name of proving your strength. Women may already feel overburdened and overwhelmed by their home and work responsibilities, and this societal pressure can cause burnout and feelings of inadequacy when we inevitably fall short…despite our best efforts. Moreover, this reinforces outdated gender roles where women are expected to carry the emotional burden of those around them without being offered any support in return. Because they are too busy taking care of others, women often do not have time to pursue their own interests or focus on themselves. Ask yourself… What have you recently put on hold because of someone else’s needs? Society needs to recognize that strength comes in many forms – including vulnerability – and that it’s okay for women (and men) to ask for help or take a break when needed without feeling ashamed. To grow stronger in our own unique ways, we must acknowledge our limitations. Instead of trying so hard to “be strong,” women should embrace the power within themselves. We all have it. My reasons for no longer wanting to be a strong woman.  For a long time, like many of you, I prided myself on being a strong woman. I thought it was something I was just supposed to be. I didn’t think I had a choice. Plus, I knew that I came from a family of “Strong Black Women.” But deep down, it was also something I learned to aspire towards. I thought it would earn me respect and possible admiration from others. But as I got older and thank God, wiser, I began to see that the expectation for women to be “strong” can actually be quite harmful. It implies that we should always have everything together, never show any vulnerability or weakness, and constantly push ourselves beyond our limits. This pressure can lead to burnout, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. I no longer want to live up to this unrealistic strength standard because it’s simply not sustainable. Instead of striving for an ideal of perfection that doesn’t exist, I choose to embrace my imperfections and allow myself room for growth and self-care. Being powerful means recognizing my own worth and value as a person regardless of how well I’m able to hold things together in difficult situations. It means acknowledging when I need help or support from others and not feeling ashamed about it. I should actually feel empowered! Ultimately, embracing our power as women means rejecting societal expectations that do not serve us well and creating new narratives around what it means to be successful in life – ones that prioritize overall well-being rather than superficial appearances or achievements. Powerful women: What it means to be one! Being a powerful woman means recognizing your worth and using your voice to make an impact in the world. It means owning your strengths, embracing your flaws, and being unapologetic about who you are. A powerful woman is one who lifts up others around her rather than tearing them down. She understands that success is not a zero-sum game and that everyone has enough room to shine. In fact, a powerful woman will encourage others to succeed and reach for their greatest potential. Taking the time to understand others involves actively listening to those around you and advocating for those who might not have the same opportunities as you. Being a powerful woman also means being empathetic and compassionate towards others. It’s important to note that being a powerful woman isn’t just limited to certain races or ethnicities – it applies to all women, no matter their background or socioeconomic status. Being a powerful woman involves breaking free from societal expectations of what femininity should look like. It’s about carving out our own paths in life while remaining true to who you are and your values. Be best advice to move from Strong to Powerful It’s time for us to shift our focus from being strong women to powerful ones. We need to reject the world’s expectations that have been placed upon us and redefine what it means to be a woman in power, with power. Being powerful doesn’t mean we have all the answers or never struggle; instead, it means we recognize our strengths and weaknesses and continue to grow despite them. Take time to discover who you are. What are your vulnerabilities? What makes you special? What allows you to feel deeper? Who are your front-row, biggest fans? Who wants to see you grow? Whom do you want to see grow? Understand that no one is asking you to have all of the answers. You can be powerful with a few words like “NO.” Save the Date Burn Vision Mid-Year Decide to BE the BOSS of your life and Join us at 3:00 pm EST…

The Power of Your Inner Voice Have you ever had a gut feeling that told you to go one way, but your rational mind said another? Or maybe you’ve heard a tiny voice inside your head whispering doubt and fear when you’re about to take big risks. That little voice is your inner voice – the internal communication system that helps guide us through life’s ups and downs. Whether we listen to it or not, our inner voice has immense power over our decisions, emotions, and overall well-being. In this blog post, we’ll explore the impact of our inner voices on our lives and how we can harness its power for positive change. So, sit back, tune inwards, and let’s dive into the captivating world of the human psyche! What is your inner voice? Your inner voice is that little voice inside your head that guides you and helps you make decisions. It is your conscience, and it is always there to help you. We, as women, also refer to it as our intuition. I call mine “Holy Spirit.” In many cases, the “good” inner voice is never wrong and protects us. Most of the time, your inner voice will lead you in the right direction. However, sometimes it can be hard to hear your inner voice over the noise of the world around you. If you are feeling lost or confused, take some time to quiet your mind and listen to what your inner voice has to say. You know Rita and I are big on encouraging you to spend time in silence. Remember, “the solution is in the silence.” Your inner voice is unique to you, and it knows what is best for you. Trust yourself and trust your inner voice. It will never steer you wrong. The Impact of Negative Self-Talk on Mental Health. Negative self-talk can have a significant impact on your mental health. If you regularly tell yourself that you’re not good enough, that you’ll never achieve your goals, or that you’re worthless, it can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-worth. Negative self-talk can also contribute to negative thinking patterns, which can become entrenched and difficult to break free from. If you find yourself regularly engaging in negative self-talk, it’s important to seek help. Depending on your severity, that help could come from a Mental Health Wellness Coach like myself or from a mental health professional who can help you identify the thoughts and beliefs that are driving your negative self-talk. Together we will work to develop more positive and realistic thought patterns that are healthy and help you achieve your goals. The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk Positive self-talk has been shown to have a number of benefits for both mental and physical health. People who engage in positive self-talk tend to have better mental health overall and are more resilient in the face of stress. They also tend to have lower levels of anxiety and depression. Physical health benefits have also been linked to positive self-talk. People who engage in positive self-talk tend to have lower blood pressure, heart rate, and improved immune function. There is also some evidence that positive self-talk can improve chronic pain conditions. Mind over matter… so to speak, and it reduces the feelings of feeling sorry for yourself. Affirmation: Thoughts have power. If your inner voice is not in alignment with where you are trying to be use the following affirmation to jump start your positive thoughts. I am enough. I’m flawed and make mistakes but that is ok. I don’t need to be perfect. I accept myself. Everybody has struggles and makes mistakes. I’m completely loveable just as I am. I don’t need for others to validate my self-worth. I don’t need to please everyone all the time. I know in my heart that I am enough. My struggles and imperfections don’t define me. I will continue to change and grow from a place of self acceptance. I will offer myself love and compassion. I am completely loveable just as I am today. I am enough. Understanding the power of your inner voice and how it affects your life is a critical step in taking charge of yourself, developing positive self-talk, setting healthy boundaries, and creating meaningful relationships. Learning to recognize what your inner voice is telling you can be challenging but with practice and patience, you will slowly start to become more aware of its influence. With this newfound understanding of the importance of listening to your own intuition, you can use it as a powerful guide on the journey towards making lasting changes in all areas of your life. Join “The Vault” Do you need guidance, motivation, direction, and a strong shoulder to lean on? Under the coaching leadership of Spiritual and Mental Health Wellness Coach Angela Lightfoot, The Vault offers you the space to speak to other women similar in age, with similar experiences and challenges. Learn More!

Most Common Reasons You’ve Failed To Reach Your Goals: Overcome and Succeed! At the beginning of the year, when we get a great revelation or after being unmotivated for too long, we get a great idea to make a list of goals we want to reach. Some goals are personal; some are professional; and some are things we have put off for years. Let’s take a quick look at that list. It’s okay, I’ll wait while you remember where you put it. Got it? Okay! Let’s take a look and see where you are. You may not have checked off as many things as you had hoped on that list as you look back on it now, weeks, months, or years after it was made. That’s because you didn’t set yourself up for real success in the first place. Those lists weren’t enough to get you really motivated. Continue reading to find out why you may not have been successful in reaching your goals and what you should try to do differently. Lights, Camera, Action… I said ACTION. Your list of goals shouldn’t just be a jumble of nouns – make sure to make them actionable! Doable. “Get closet organized” rather than just writing “organize” and set yourself attainable deadlines for each goal. For example, if you’re looking to organize your closet, make sure you spend some time sorting and purging, get storage containers and maybe labels, and organize your outfits by season will help you map out the goal and give you a clear list of tasks to complete it within the timeframe. You’re doing this.. Great.. but WHY? If you don’t feel motivated or even excited to reach your goals, then it is likely that you haven’t determined WHY you are striving for them. For instance, expressing the will to lose 15 pounds is one thing but WHY? At the end of the day, what are you hoping to acquire by losing that weight? Take into consideration what motivates and drives your goal. There will always be something that you wish to attain, avoid, or lose when attempting to accomplish it. Are you looking to enhance your self-confidence? Become healthier to prevent health problems down the road. Wear that two-piece bathing suit with extra confidence on your upcoming vacation. Take some real time to examine the reasons behind why you’re making a goal list and recognize the advantages of what you’re trying to achieve. Are you even close? How close? In order to determine how well you are doing, you need milestones or markers that track your progress. A lofty goal may take some time to accomplish. Work at a steady pace, and don’t try to do too much upfront. This is the fastest way to burn yourself out and run from your goals. Burnout is real, and you should try to avoid it. When you see you’ve accomplished part of your goal, you can celebrate your progress and encourage yourself to keep going. I believe in celebrating small wins. We all could use a little more motivation! Wait, it’s gonna cost me something? How much? Not all goals are centered around money, such as saving a certain amount each month, but there’s some kind of financial angle involved with all goals. Consider the example of owning a house – you need to save enough money, assess your budget and mortgage amount, and so on. On the other hand, if you want to find a new job, then it’s important to consider how much you’re looking for in terms of salary. Through my experience shopping at Ikea and Target, I can tell you that completely redecorating a closet doesn’t come cheap! Eating healthier also requires more expenditure – fresh fruits and veggies cost more than processed food. The bottom line is that hard figures give a much clearer insight into goals and should be taken into account when planning ahead. I know you can reach your goals if you follow these tips. If you haven’t made progress towards your goals this year, don’t give up. Give Rita or me a call, and we can help you see what barriers are holding you back. We will help you strategize and help hold you accountable. Join “The Vault” Do you need guidance, motivation, direction, and a strong shoulder to lean on? Under the coaching leadership of Spiritual and Mental Health Wellness Coach Angela Lightfoot, The Vault offers you the space to speak to other women similar in age, with similar experiences and challenges. Learn More!

How to Love Yourself Unconditionally During Difficult Times While it is difficult to find the strength to love yourself unconditionally during difficult times, it is crucial to remember that you deserve self-love and acceptance no matter what life throws at you. In this blog post, we will focus on the benefits of loving yourself unconditionally and how to deal with your emotions when things get challenging. Recently Rita and I experienced the heartache of losing a close friend. Anyone who has suffered loss can relate to all the feelings and emotions associated with it, and I am no exception. Crying was inevitable, and I had many conversations with God. Despite this difficult situation, I remained committed to my own self-love, knowing that our departed loved one showed me nothing but love before departing. Why would I do her memory any wrong by not loving myself just as much? Nurturing a genuine love for yourself can be one of the most challenging tasks. It’s natural to find it easy to love yourself during times of joy, but what about in difficult or challenging times? Staying positive and showing yourself compassion when facing adversity is no easy task. However, it’s during these moments that loving yourself unconditionally is all the more vital and important. Unconditional self-love entails embracing your true self no matter the circumstance. It means acknowledging your worth even on days when you feel like you’re just not enough. Remember that cultivating unconditional self-love is an ongoing journey, requiring both time and effort. What other things in life do you dedicate all your time and energy to that does not better you or your current situation? Nevertheless, if you can learn to accept yourself completely, there will be nothing life throws at you that you cannot handle. Loving yourself unconditionally has many benefits. No matter what you are going through, you deserve love and respect. Here are some benefits of loving yourself unconditionally: It is easier to forgive yourself when things go wrong if you accept that you are imperfect and make mistakes. This will lead to less anxiety and stress. I was raised to believe there is only one standard of perfection and that is God. So, take the pressure off of you. If you love yourself unconditionally, you open yourself up to receiving love from others, which can strengthen your relationships. People naturally want to give and receive love, but make sure the love you are giving others is healthy and true. We have no room for toxic relationships. It is also possible to increase your self-esteem and confidence by learning to love yourself. When you know that you are worthy of love no matter what, it makes it easier for you to believe in yourself and mean it. Finally, loving yourself unconditionally can help improve your overall well-being. When you have a positive view of yourself, it can lead to better physical health and mental well-being. When I am feeling down, I often go for a long walk in my neighborhood or at one of my favorite parks. It allows me to get some fresh air, move my body, get quiet, gain a few extra steps, and most importantly, it helps me clear my head. Negative emotions and how to deal with them. It’s normal to feel negative emotions from time to time, but you don’t have to let them control you. Here are some tips for dealing with negative emotions in a healthy way: It’s okay to feel angry, sad, or afraid. Denying your emotions will only make them worse. Embrace the feeling, let them out, and figure out a healthy way to process them. Consider journaling. By now you should know how Rita and I feel about Journaling. It is a daily practice for us! I know for some, journaling can seem like an added task that takes time. but it is a healthy way to process your emotions and feelings. Journaling allows people who process things outwardly to see the struggle on paper so they can better discern what needs to be done and how to deal with how they feel. If you are concerned that someone will find your journal, you can burn or trash your thoughts once completed. Another way to positively express yourself is by talking it out with a friend instead of lashing out at others. Avoid trying to numb or hide your emotions. If you try to avoid feeling negative emotions by turning to alcohol, drugs, food, or sex, you will only cause yourself more problems in the future. Keep a list of activities you can do when you are experiencing challenges or turmoil. In the event you struggle to cope with negative emotions regularly, it may be time to seek professional assistance from a trained coach. I know 2 really great ones that are available. All in all, practicing self-love unconditionally during difficult periods is essential. Such an approach fosters resilience and grants us a more hopeful outlook that can facilitate problem resolution. Accepting our true selves encourages powerful personal investigation and development that translates into winning choices. As we navigate life’s challenging moments, we should keep in mind the progress made and be proud of ourselves. Save the Date Createing Light In The Darkness During this power-packed session, you will participate in interactive “Real Self” exercises, receive guided handouts, and gain clarity on the woman you want to be! REGISTER TODAY! Learn More!

Who does resolutions anymore? Not I! As much as I enjoy the concept of New Year resolutions, they usually have a 14 day expiration for me, just like they do for most of you. But setting attainable and achievable goals have always felt more tangible and realistic to me because I understand that my goals allow me to be a better me. My drive to accomplish my goals is more intentional. While I want to keep this post brief and sweet, I hope My 2023 Goals inspire you to create your own customized and personalized goals for 2023. GOAL 1- Tune into My EmotionsI am an empathic person and have always been sensitive to the feelings of others. I embrace this quality as there is nothing wrong with feeling deeply. As a coach who works with individuals who are managing and often struggling with their mental wellness, it is an ongoing journey to ensure that I keep my emotions under control. Growing up, I always hated that it was easy for me to feel hurt by and for others. But as I grew older, I found that by understanding the reasons behind these feelings and finding healthy ways to release the stress, anxiety, and emotions I was able to free myself. So far, bowling, volleyball, and painting have been added to my list of healthy activities to help me release and allow me to tune into my emotions. If you need help getting in tune, consider hiring a coach- Call me! Goal 2- Explore and Embrace my Creative Side I’m constantly looking for new and different ways to unleash my creativity. I’ve been all over the map, doing things like painting and refinishing furniture. I also work on my she-shed (I just finished the drywall, hardwood floors, and beautiful palm leaf ceiling fan). This year I want to explore more unusual ways to use my creativity. Have you had a chance to listen to my guided meditation on YouTube? Check it out here – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-QZWDYuXxY&t=43s. I have also noticed that helping myself is just as important as helping others! With all these experiences, I plan to take new approaches with creativity that will enable me to connect with God (or Spirit) in new ways. I really enjoy using my creativity to explore new possibilities for creative self-expression, so I’m looking forward to what new possibilities await next! Goal 3- Create Good Habits While Removing the Bad HabitsThe bad and the good are always a pairing, in my opinion, since I need to remove the bad and replace it with the good. I want to get rid of some habits that aren’t so great and create new ones that will help me grow as a person. This includes regular workouts (no more sitting on the floor watching tv), cleaning out my closet by donating/selling things I don’t wear anymore, connecting more to God by reading my bible more regularly, and committing myself to daily devotions. Goal 4- Become a Budget-nistaDid you know that 75% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck? That’s an alarming statistic. Like many people my age, I have student debt and it sometimes consumes my thoughts. This year, I want to budget in a way that allows me to do more fun things while still taking care of my student loan debt and other financial obligations. In our November webinar, The Naughty List 2.0 Combating Holiday Stress, Celia Powell, CPA recommended the following: “Write your vision and make it plan.” She reminded us to manage our finances responsibly and ensure that they align with other goals we have for our futures.” Goal 5- Create a Space Where I can Love Myself More We all claim to love ourselves or parts of ourselves. But what does it really mean to love ourselves in our fullness; the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly? To truly and unapologetically love ourselves, I believe we need to create space for our true and authentic selves to strive, let loose and simply be. By offering support to our body, mind, and spirit, we can develop this space within ourselves to really love the people we are. Join me on January 28th at 3 pm at the Women’s Business Center RVA in Willow Lawn for a workshop, Creating Space to Love Yourself! Register here: https://ritaricks.com/product/creating-space-to-love-yourself/ I pray your 2023 is prosperous and filled with health, wealth (I mean, who doesn’t want more money?) and overall positive vibes. It is a pleasure to have your support and know that Rita and I are always here to help you achieve your goals and dreams while aligning you with your purpose. Save the Date Creating Space to Love Yourself Join me for a powerful and transformational workshop as we “Create Space” to learn to love ourselves! REGISTER TODAY! Learn More!