How to start a Silence, Without Making It Weird

Whenever I start talking about silence, I can almost see people brace themselves. Shoulders tighten. Eyes blink a little faster. Or there is instant resistance. Because somewhere along the way, silence got marketed as this intense, monk-level experience where you sit perfectly still, clear your mind, and do not think a single thought. Ever.

Let me free your mind real quick. That is not how you have to practice silence, and it is definitely not how I encourage others to begin. (You may work yourself up to monk status, but that might not be the best way God talks to you).

What I’ve learned, both personally and through guiding others, is that silence doesn’t need to be dramatic. It just needs to be honest. If you set the timer for 15 minutes, don’t give up 5 minutes in because you are not hearing or feeling anything. Don’t start doing chores around the house to fill the space. I promise the dishes can wait.

I often tell people to start where they already are. Silence can happen in your car before you walk into work. Fifteen minutes. No music. No scrolling. Just you and God. Your car could become a true refuge for you, I promise. Silence can happen on a lunch break walk, or sitting on your porch, or standing outside for a moment pretending you’re just “getting some air.” I share often that my mother practices silence every night during her bathtime.

And yes, before you ask, you can absolutely be ADHD or a “chatty Kathy” and enjoy silence too. Silence is not about having zero thoughts. It’s about not letting your thoughts run the meeting.

One thing I’ve noticed is that people struggle most when they try to jump straight into silence without warming up. I usually suggest easing into it. Take a walk in nature. Read something reflective. Listen to beautiful gospel music that shifts your heart into gratitude. These are not distractions. They help your body slow down so your spirit can actually breathe. And of course, some deep breathing exercises allow you to get in alignment.

Recently, I started a new Bible study, and we’ve been talking about Sabbath, or Shabbat, and intentional rest with God. And honestly, it felt like confirmation. What I’ve been practicing through silence aligns perfectly with God’s design for rest. Rest isn’t just for your body or your mind. It’s for your family, your community, and your relationships. It’s a way of saying, “God, I trust You enough to pause.”

Silence, when practiced intentionally, becomes sacred focus. Not letting your mind wander wildly, but gently turning your attention toward what God is trying to show you, clarify for you, or heal in you.

Along with daily quiet moments, I always encourage choosing one day each month for deeper silence. At least 45 minutes. Journal nearby. Phone far away. That kind of space recalibrates how you move through life.

Silence doesn’t require perfection. It requires willingness.
And if you want a place to practice without pressure, I invite people to my virtual Listening to the Silence retreat, held every second Tuesday of the month. It’s gentle, grounded, and judgment-free. No eye masks required.

Silence isn’t something you conquer. It’s something you learn to welcome, one quiet moment at a time.