When Excuses Creep In: Cultivating Real Self Care This Mental Health Awareness Month

As we honor Mental Health Awareness Month, let’s pause with genuine appreciation and empathy—because dismantling the stigma around mental health requires more than ribbons; it takes open hearts, honest conversations, and real support. If you’ve ever felt dismissed for asking for help or judged for taking a mental health day, know you’re seen, you’re valid, and you’re not alone.

Take my sister and me—self‑appointed “plant ladies” who’ve spent the last five years creating a tropical oasis in our home and backyard. I’m on the hunt for bright new leaves (shoutout to local nurseries and Lidl’s unbeatable deals), while she’s the master nurturer with her secret watering schedule. We’ve learned firsthand that a lush jungle demands daily attention—and so does our mental health.

The Excuse Epidemic

We’ve all been there, hiding behind familiar lines that keep us stuck:

• “I’m too busy.” Deadlines, family demands, and that must‑see series make self‑care feel like the final item on the list—often never checked off.
• “Self‑care is selfish.” Feel guilty for a ten‑minute walk? If your favorite fern wilted, you’d water it without hesitation—so why deny yourself the same care?
• “I don’t need help.” Admitting you may benefit from coaching or therapy can feel as awkward as confessing a twice‑burned dinner. Yet professional support isn’t defeat; it’s like calling in an expert gardener before your Monstera stages a revolt.

If you’ve echoed any of these excuses, take a breath. We all slip into “excuse mode”—the key is noticing and choosing differently.

Reality Check: Boundaries Are Lifelines

Boundaries aren’t six‑foot wooden fences; imagine them as elegant hedges studded with red roses. Their blossoms lift your spirits and their thorns protect your peace—and yes, like the Queen of Hearts, I have a thing for red roses. Ask yourself: What kind of “thorns” do you need to keep harm at away from my PEACE?

Try these boundary‑setting mantras:

• “I close my laptop at 6PM.” (Yes, even if the boss emails at 6:01.)
• “Weekends are device‑free.” (FOMO can wait until Monday.)
• “No, I can’t help with ______.” (A complete sentence—period.)
• “I won’t check emails until after my morning devotion.” (Start each day grounded and grateful.) Studies show that clear off‑hours rules improve sleep quality and job satisfaction—so give yourself permission to unplug without guilt.

One thing I have seen that helps me start my days off right is by establishing a strong nighttime routine.

Here’s part of mine:

• Gratitude Reflection. List three things you’re thankful for and how you saw God show up—big or small.
• Nighttime Hygiene. Shower, hair care, skincare, brush teeth—your personal mini‑spa.
• Morning Prep. Lay out two outfit options, fill the Keurig reservoir, and stash your iced cup in the freezer.
• Herbal Tea. A cup of chamomile or lemon balm signals “rest.”
• Lavender Pillow Spray & Sound Machine.
• A mist of lavender and soft white noise set the sleep scene.
• Nighttime Prayer. A closing moment of peace before drifting off.

Feeling overwhelmed or stuck in the weeds?

I’m Angela Lightfoot, a certified mental health wellness coach (and proud plant mamma). Allow me to support you in your journey. Contact me today- [email protected]. Let’s uproot excuses, plant life‑affirming boundaries, and help your well‑being bloom.

If you or someone you know is in crisis or experiencing suicidal thoughts, please call or text 988 immediately. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7—because you are never alone, and help is always within reach.